After Dark, August 7, 2012

Ambivalence
Big stories have me at my wits' end
by Gaëtan L. Charlebois

A very dear and trusted friend of mine who works in the environmental movement told me that at conferences now the backstage talk is not, "What do we do?" but, rather, "It's too late."

Think about that for a moment...

Now. Doesn't that put everything - and I mean EVERYTHING! - into perspective? Perhaps it's my friend saying that or old age or experience or some damn thing that makes me ambivalent about so many things I used to really red-rage about!

I can see that people are hurt on all sides.

The student revolt? I was a pot-banger at the beginning but when the noise started drowning out the screams of dying Syrian children, I moved on.

The upcoming elections in Quebec? I could not give less of a fuck. I will vote, of course (my parents beat that responsibility into me), but as in the past I may vote for the idiot or fun party (the Marxists or the Potters). The election has become polluted by side-shows and, worse, I live in the riding of a firebrand quasi-independent who is ONLY a hothead and who ignored me when I turned to him for help when I was having trouble with the health system.

Factory Theatre?

...

Well, that just breaks my heart and it's because I am so ambivalent about it all. I feel for all the personalities in the story (and it feels like this story is about "personality" in every sense). I can see that people are hurt on all sides. This is why I am standing back in this battle and, instead, letting those who wish to express themselves do so freely at CharPo-Toronto.com . If you look at the special index we created and read each article in chronological order, you will see that beyond the rage and sadness expressed, a strange kind of dialogue has emerged and it is clearer and more intimate than if the writers had gone through the filter of the traditional media. It's there and bald and honest.

And who knows? Maybe from a dialogue like this a solution will rise! And maybe not. But it will show that we have humanity and eloquence and passion.

Bottom line, though? Breathe. At least while we all can.